🧘♂️ The Path to Enlightenment
Welcome, brave warrior. You've taken the first step towards breaking free from the horny prison. Here, we don't just touch grass - we become one with it.
💪 Benefits of Never Gooning
- Ability to levitate (results may vary)
- Actually finishing Netflix shows instead of just "browsing"
- Using your phone in portrait mode like a normal person
- Tissue paper budget reduced by 90%
- Browser history cleaner than Mr. Clean's head
🎯 Daily Wisdom
"The strongest urges require the strongest wills" - Master Oogway, probably
"Your sword hand should be used for actual swords" - Sun Tzu, Art of War
🛡️ Anti-Goon Techniques
- When tempted, do one push-up (you'll be jacked in no time)
- Replace "hub" websites with GitHub
- Think about your grandma (works 100% of the time)
- Cold showers (embrace the pain)
🏆 Levels of Achievement
Level 1: Novice
Still thinks "Netflix and Chill" means watching documentaries
Level 50: Master
Can walk through a Victoria's Secret store while maintaining eye contact with staff
Level 100: Enlightened
Has ascended beyond mortal desires (and probably needs a girlfriend)